TÂCHES & HARRY KEYWORTH - DESERT RAIN
RELEASe date: 2 APRIL 2020
I present to you Desert Rain.
I’ve struggled over the past year with believing in myself when it came to music. I’ve experienced immense doubt and felt powerless and incapable. The ‘album’ that I had posted so much about became and still does feel to me like my little piece of personal hell. In the pursuit of ‘finishing’ it I began to constantly expect more of myself than I was ever able to give.
But that’s good, no? To an extent yes, it pushed me to try things outside of my comfort zone and write music in styles that I would never have attempted before, but the issue lies somewhere deeper. The problem was that in pursuing more and better and cleaner, I lost all belief that I was ever good enough in the moment. Working on music became this process of always feeling that I needed to learn more about arranging and mixing and songwriting and playing the guitar and singing. It was as if I lived constantly in the shadow of a better version of myself that got further and further away the more I tried to catch up to him. I began to never stop and think “You know what Alex? You’re doing a good job. Well done! Go you for trying”. Each mixdown and new section I tried to add in order to get the music that little bit closer to the imaginary ‘perfect’ that existed somewhere between my head and heart killed me a little more. All I wanted to do was make ‘perfect music’ and I guess that I fell prey to the mindset that if the music wasn’t perfect then neither was I. Being able to make music for a living is still the most amazing gift.
Despite all the pain and heartache I’ve been feeling, I show up and work every day. This is because deep down, beyond the self doubt and hatred, making music is ultimately what makes me the happiest in life. Buried below the negativity is a far larger pool of positivity - patiently waiting for me to see it. It’s taken me a while to realize it but it’s only up to me let myself off the hook for not being perfect. I am relearning to trust that what I do is good enough so long as it comes from the heart.
This is the first song of that album - with all of its imperfections. While it may not be exactly what I had intended it to be, it still moves me. That’s all that matters.